Brea
Confession
So much to do, so little energy - the story of my life. Honestly, I have so many little tasks to complete but I just don't feel like it. Part of the problem is I still have yet to trust certain vendors here in Bel Air. So everytime I need my oil changed, eyebrows waxed, or dog vaccinated - I drive to southern Maryland to have it done. Some things need to be done by a trusted professional. I'm sorry, but I just don't trust this town with the three most important things: my car, my dog, and my eyebrows (anyone who has had a bad eyebrow waxing will understand). Anyhoo, everything is PAST DUE and it is going to take me all day to get it all done. Guess I'll stop procrastinating and make appointments for Monday. **sigh** This week is going by sooooooooooo sloooooow. I want it to be over already! Well, anyway, I have been thinking a lot about relationships this week. My concept of a good relationship has really changed over the years, especially this last year. People have really suprised me and I have really suprised myself. One good thing about all relationships (good or bad) is that they reveal strengths and weaknesses in our own character. If you really think about it, all relationships are really a reflection of self. As you can tell, my thoughts aren't really together enough for a blog entry on the topic. I am, however, curious to know: what is the most important attribute you look for in a good relationship (friendship or other)? I almost forgot, I have a confession to make. See.... Well, ummmm..... See what had happened was.... I LET TREK CHASE SQUIRRELS BEFORE RUNNING ON MONDAY SO THAT I COULD WIN! Okay - I feel better now. Smiley for the Day:  |
randmoness by Brea at 1:31:00 PM
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post a commentYou know what Bel Air is famous for in pastor world don't ya?
It is where Eugene Peterson pastored for 29 years at a church he planted there (Christ Our King Presbyterian).
Eugene Peterson writes a lot about spiritual theology, pastoral ministry, and is most famous for his translation of Bible called THE MESSAGE.
Don Juan de Bubba:
I still hate Bel Air.
" what is the most important attribute you look for in a good relationship (friendship or other)?
I would have to say comfort-and what I mean by that is feeling comfortable enough with the other person to be able to tell them anything. From my darkest secret to silliest, most ridiculous thoughts that pop into my head to my latest secret shame (i.e. liking Kelly Clarkson-which I don't, for the record). If you don't feel that comfort, what's the point. Who wants to censor themselves? I want someone-friendship or otherwise-whom I can share that with and there is no judgement. Luckily, I have a few of those people in my life.
and they will tell you-I realy do like Kelly Clarkson. SHHHHHH.
So you let Trek run hard and fast after squirrels then took him running with you so that you could beat him....geez-that was smart. Good motivation technique....now a good attribute that I look for in friendships-I actually have two-commonality-things we can talk about-stuff we can do, family stuff, etc.,our flow for conversation is smooth and we can talk about anything. I also look at whether that person is selfless. People who are selfish-I won't keep around too long-because I will let them know my feelings...
I'm not very good at relationships management too... I, surely will be benefiting from other sugggestions here...
I have not been successful at relationships myself. I believe I give off a message somewhat like "I give and you take." Most people usually use me because they know I am soft hearted. I'm not talking about sex.
I would like people to accept me because I'm me and they like me. When they call my home, it's for a conversation not starting out with the usual "what are you doing" sort of thing while I wait for the punch line. I hate it when someone asks, what are you going to do tonight, tomorrow, Saturday, etc., because I know it's coming, that question I don't want to hear "will you?" Don't get me wrong, I love doing things for people, but I want people to simply enjoy my company, talking to me, etc. without the punch line. In otherward, what I look for in a relationship is for a person to like me for me. I know that this is my fault because I allow people to do this for me and I would like to learn how to change that.
what is the most important attribute you look for in a good relationship? After doing two consective posts on relationship I can say the most important attribute i look for arr these: total transparency, sharing every secret, renouncing jealousy, exposing themselves to judgment and, in conversational marathons, analyzing every last sensation. One more: Total surrender.
If you still hate Bel Air you can always move out west.
Until Buck shows up I think I am the resident male here...so I will answer the question.
I think I look for someone who is going to accept me for me no matter what. And be on my side and support me come what may.
I also need relationships where I can be honest with someone.
Also, mutuality is important in relationships. I need a sense of equality and partnership with my friends. That we are standing together and percieve one another on equal footing. If I feel less than or more than in a relationship it is doomed.
Romantically, a lot of the same things apply.
My biggest frustration romantically is that either women see me as a project they can train, or they have a lot of needs and I feel more like their parent than their partner.
That and that I am ugly and girls hate me.
Ooh yes...so many errands to do...and no mood also I got the time...I'll give it a try today ;-)
mann... shirazi and don juan already said all i can think of...
i'll get back to ya when i come up w/ something diff :D
A relationship that is have is a good mirror of our own character.. how very true. When we see how we react around other people, that's really who we choose to percieve ourselves to be. I think with experience we learn things about ourselves and are more firm with what we want in a relationship itself. Or from a person themselves. It's a good way to build ideals.
For me, I think I look for trust, is not one of those jerks who think they can dominate women for their own credibility (I dated one like that and I can vouch that they're animals), and God-fearing. Almost all of the boys that I have dated are the same religion as I (Catholic), but I didn't pick out their religion. It just fell into place without me looking to that part of them.
You are right about relationships revealing flaws. This was a great post!
Ide say trust is the most important thing =)
"So much to do, so little energy - the story of my life."
and mine...
relationships do reveal your strengths and weaknesses...i mean, you always learns something which is why I try not to regret any...
I think the most important attribute of a relationship (frienship or otherwise) is honesty...not just because I always want folks to tell me the truth, but because I think a very strong bond forms between two people who are completely honest with one another! All of my past "romantic situations" (i like to call them that) with guys have not worked out simply because honesty was not there. My best friend and I are always honest with each other...that's why our friendship has survived even through distance and many many many disagreements! We even survived being roommates which can often mean sudden death for friendships!
I've seen some bad eyebrow waxin' jobs and I can attest, they aint nothing to play with
Jeni Angel:
I've been in a couple censored relationships and I hated it. You are so right, the only relationships worth having are the ones where you are comfortable being you. Thanks for your comment!
Rose:
I'm still blushing about the whole running competition with Trek.
I like your answers - two very important things.
Hasan Mubarak:
Hope you find it helpful.
The Gig:
I know what you mean. It is important to learn how to say no - very, very important. I think if you continue to stay in these take/no give relationships - you will be using all your time and energy on them - when you could be out meeting new people that will treat you well. That is what I have found in this last year. I hope you can find a solution to this problem, because I can feel the pain in your words.
Shirazi:
Interesting list you have there. What do you mean by total surrender?
Don Juan de Bubba:
I like your list and stop being so hard on yourself!
Kat:
Good luck!
'Ka:
ok :)
Marz:
I like your additions - all very important.
Professor Spex:
Still blushing...
They shave them?! Whaaaaaat?! Please tell me it only costs three dollars. That is just crazy!
Princess Dominique:
Thanks :)
Crude:
Yes, trust is extremely important.
Brown Soul:
Good point, all relationships are about learning and you should never regret any. Great point - thanks!
Glad that you have such an awesome relationship with your best friend. I lost a good friend by living with her - guess it wasn't as good as I thought!
DIVA:
I don't think it is too much - keep looking girl - he's out there!
Storm:
Yeah, it is hard to narrow it down to just one!
Brotha Buck:
Amen! Lol!!