Fast forward?

Sometimes I wish I had a fast forward button: Heartache . . . . Fast forward Uncertainty . . . . Fast forward Disappointment . . . . Fast forward Loneliness . . . . Fast forward Exhaustion . . . . Fast forward Confusion . . . . Fast forward Well, life doesn't come with a fast forward button. I know by now that I am going to feel the bad times just as deeply as the good ones. What makes it a little easier is to know that I am not alone. It is easier still knowing someone has gone through the exact same thing and they made it through. You've gone through shit, and if you are not going through shit right now, you will. That's life. Everyone has problems - everyone. What makes people unique is how they choose to handle their problems. Some people are martyrs. They carry the same load throughout life. They will drag the same baggage, year after year, in and out of new relationships. To them, their life is horrible and they find comfort in getting sympathy from others. If they are not hiding behind the baggage, it leaves them exposed. For them, letting go and dealing with the real problem is too uncomfortable. Some people are in denial. They choose to ignore its existence. It is easier to pretend that it doesn’t hurt deep down. They choose to live their life on the surface. Some people are selfless. They are so immersed in the problems of others that they don't make time for their own. It is easier for them to deal with someone else's problem than their own. Constantly helping others gives them a false sense of security. They refuse to admit that the constant neglect of self is slowly catching up with them. Some people are selfish. They are so far up their own ass that they never stop to help anyone else out. What is going on in their life is more important than anything else. Some people are self-righteous. They have all the answers all the time. They have never made a mistake; it is always the fault of someone else. Every failed relationship and every failed endeavor is always someone else’s fault. They fail to see the pattern in their lives. Many of these people constantly tell others to carry life's load the way they do - because their way is the right way. They alienate others constantly but never see how their actions affect others. Life is about learning – learning how to live. I think there is a time and place for all these things (with the exception of being self-righteous). Sometimes you need to be selfish, selfless, or even in denial. Of course I only touched the surface; there are many other big pieces of a person. The key is to find a good balance. When you find a piece dominating your life, you have to get it in check. Although, I think I’m headed in the right direction, I still have a long way to go. So far I have learned one trick is to find someone or something to help lighten the load: good friends, fun activities, forms of expressions, a safe place, ect. I’ve also learned that some relationships have an expiration date. Choosing to ignore the expiration date can cause spoilage in other areas of your life. It is neither good or bad – it just is. When relationships or circumstances make the load heavier, you can't be afraid to pull over, rearrange the load and/or dump a few things. This has been the hardest lesson for me to learn. I’m not sure where I was headed with this post – just some random thoughts in my head – as always.