Going in with my eyes closed.

Closed because I'm tired as hell and I have no idea what the weekend holds. Yesterday, I went to the climbing gym with my friend Brian. I was quite proud of myself; it had been months since my last climb and I was climbing 5.8 without a problem. The last route (5.9), however, kicked my ass. So that took care of any cockiness that might have been developing. My arms and abs are slightly sore but I'm not in nearly as much pain as expected. I want more. I want to conquer that 5.9 route. I want to get back the climbing skills I once had. Even before ever trying it, I had a love of the sport; I still do. Like any other activity I love, it is a part of who I am. In fact, I wrote one of my very first posts on it: Climbing Through Life Tuesday, November 02, 2004 I guess I like rock climbing because it is a true combination of mind and body. You have to plan your route before you begin a difficult climb. If you do all of your thinking on the wall, you will find yourself in a difficult, avoidable situation. Sure, you can muscle your way through a tough spot. However, if you do that too many times, you will be left with a fatigued body. A body that will not be available for one last climb three hours from now. A well-planned climb will reserve your energy for times when you must use raw strength to continue. Watching an expert climber, you see as much skill and grace as shown by any professional dancer. It is as though they are dancing up the wall. Why? They plan every move before it is taken. They concentrate on details such as hip position, foot placement, and grip on every hold as they climb. While I am by no means an expert, I understand the mechanics of a successful ascent and am vigilant as I climb. I just wish I'd remember to apply some of these lessons to my life beyond the wall . . . Posted by Picasa I wish the sport wasn't so time consuming and my schedule wasn't so jam packed. I wish....oh I could go on forever but that doesn't change anything does it? Unfortunately, the answer is a big fat NO. Moving on... After climbing, was my weekly dinner date with my brother. As I walked to the car to meet him, I checked my cell for missed phone calls while I was at the gym. I missed a call from Yoni. He didn't leave a message. Was the call an accident? Was he calling to say hello? Did he call to tell me that he is ready for our talk this weekend? It took a couple of hours before I made the decision to call him back. There was no answer and so I left a message. How is it that he is always in control of my emotions? I take control for a while, but he always finds a way to take it back. And so I wait... I had been invited earlier in the evening to go hang out with the guys from my backpacking group. After explaining that Thursday nights are always dinner with my brother, they extended the invite. So, my brother and I decided to forgo our weekly pig out session, grab a pizza & beer, and head over to my friend's place. We played drinking games. As I suck at most games, I ended up getting pretty lit. Good times, good times. So now it is another cold, gloomy, rainy day in Maryland. Motivation is at an all time low. I have plans for tonight and tomorrow. But what will Sunday hold? Perhaps he will make me laugh. Perhaps he will make me cry. Perhaps the silence will continue. I'm going in with my eyes closed. Smiley for the Day: