Do you ever have any fun?

I was asked that question by a co-worker yesterday. I have never been so caught off guard in my entire life. Whaaaaaat? Of course I do!!! All the time! Do I really give the impression that I am all work and no play? I mean, I've hit the bars after work a few times with my co-workers. Got me pulled over doing a sobriety test one night! And yes, I've turned down a lot of invites - but only b/c of previous plans or schoolwork. And here he is questioning the fun-o-meter in my life?!!!! Yikes! So, after explaining to him that I do have a life outside of work, I started thinking. Shocker, I know. It is sort of a continuation of this post: In my own reality. What different perceptions do people have of me & what role does that play in my life? At school, everyone thinks of me as "the smart kid". I am willing to bet money that they think I spend my days and nights studying. Ha! Nothing could be further from the truth! Yes, I get high exam scores, but it sure as hell isn't because I spend all my time studying! So why do they have this perception of me? Well, because I ask questions and I interact with my professors. Is it because I have an insatiable desire for knowledge? Not so much. I'm an auditory learner. If I hear and comprehend a topic in class, I don't have to read or study it later. So while everyone else is too shy to answer or ask questions, I make it my prerogative. While they are up all night studying for an exam, I'm sleeping. They can think what they want. Now papers and projects, that's a WHOLE different story. But my guess is, they would be shocked to learn I often wait until the night before to write a paper. Brea the nerd. I think not. Brea, the girl that takes her education into her own hands so she doesn't have to work as hard later. That's more like it. I could go through every area of my life and detail how I am perceived. But I really don't feel like typing that much ;) But my point is, people form perceptions about you according to your actions. You can talk until you are blue in the face, but if your actions don't line up; people are hard pressed to believe you. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that. Without getting to know a person, overt behavior is all we have to go on. Perceptions are healthy and can even help keep us safe. Ever been in a situation where someone you didn't know made you feel uncomfortable? In that situation, my personal safety comes before any niceties. If you make me feel uncomfortable, one of us has got to go. On the other end of the spectrum, perceptions help us in our relationships. This becomes important in adulthood. As a child, our best friends were made because they lived down the street or were in the same homeroom for five years. As an adult, relationships take work. People live further and further apart, have increasing demands on time, etc. Although I have casual friends, I prefer depth in my relationships. If I am working on maintaining a relationship, I want it to be worth my while. As mentioned in my profile, I do not care what people think of me. I have such a hard time understanding people that are always worried about what others think. I have friends who are that way and IT DRIVES ME NUTS! They know it too b/c I make no secret of it. Although you have some measure of influence on how others perceive you, you have no control over it. People are going to think what they are going to think - it is much easier than really getting to know someone. Why waste your energy/peace worrying about it? Just be yourself. If you don't take the time to really get to know me, I could give a rat's ass what you think about me. But this rule doesn't apply to my friends. If my actions don't line up with whom they've known me to be, I want to know about it. In the same way, if your actions aren't lining up with the person I thinkt you are, I'm going to tell you. In this way, relationships challenge us. I could never understand, "I don't want to say anything because they may get mad at me". Please. Isn't that what friends are for? To make us face things in ourselves, better ourselves, and enrich our lives? I'm not saying you should trample someone's feelings in the name of brutal honesty. I think you should be straight forward, but you must have tact. Like I've said before, my brain is loosely connected. I'm not sure if any of that made sense. Those were the thoughts running through my head after my coworker asked me that question. His comment didn't make me want to show him how much fun I can be. It didn't make me accept his invite to the pool hall with my co-workers after work. I told him all I wanted to do was go to bed, the same answer I would have given had he not asked the question. I have nothing to prove. If he wants to think I'm no fun, it doesn't cost me anything - he's the one missing out. But his question did trigger all these random thoughts on the ride home. I am comfortable with who I am. I'm not quite WHERE I want to be yet, but I'll know WHO I am when I get there. Today on 100 Things: Next Year.... Smiley for the Day: