I'm here . . . somewhere

No, I'm not off somewhere going through a quarter-life crisis. I'm not in crisis at all actually. I was just being lazy and thought I'd post a forward. Yes, I can relate to much of it. And yes, I hit a low point two weekends ago. But a crisis? That's going a bit far. I've actually been enjoying bits and pieces of my life over the last few weeks. Let's see... ...there was cooking with my mom, Stephanie, and "the cute little bug". How do you know that the food you are eating is truly organic? When a "cute little bug" comes with your baby spinach. We made salmon baked in butter lettuce (pictured), lamb sausage patties, Jamaican rice and beans, and sautéed baby spinach. The food was fabulous as was the time we spent together shopping, preparing, cooking, and eating. Yum! ...there was underwear and bra shopping. Now if you know me at all, are a longtime reader of this blog, or read my post on 100 Things about underwear, you know I'm not a big fan. Perhaps because Trek finds my underwear to be a favorite chew toy. Until recently, I had only one matching set thanks to my four-legged roommate. Well, I have since remedied that. I now have lots of cute bra and panty sets. Pink, yellow, black, brown, and red, oh my! I never thought I'd have so much fun shopping. Who knows, maybe I'll start wearing underwear more often!! ...there has been lots o' beer combined with lots o' camera phone fun. In case you missed it, my parents got me a new camera phone for my birthday. Although it wasn't the the Sony Cyber-Shot DSC-P200, 7.2 Megapixel, 3x Optical/6x Digtal Zoom Digital Camera that I am in love with (even more so now that I discovered that it comes in black) that I was dropping hints all over the place about, the new phone was a great birthday gift. I no longer have the bottom-of-the-line, piece-of-crap I once called my cell phone. I now have an awesome phone with speakerphone, voicedial, color screen, and a digital camera!! And I thought my parents were technologically challenged. Good job Mom and Dad! Okay, got a bit sidetracked there. As I was saying... This new phone is great entertainment while out drinking with friends - I highly recommend it. Now I can capture fun moments when I forget my regular camera or when I have a spontaneous outing. Better yet, I can send said pictures to whomever I please at the push of a button. Not that I have done that or anything. Hee hee hee (evil laugh). I've also been going out with people from work quite a bit. There have been several birthdays and such recently. I found out that in addition to not knowing how to have fun, I am also conceited. Whaaaaat?! Who knew?! I'm glad to report that my recent outings have not only shown them that I am not at all conceited and indeed know how to have fun, but it has also led to two crushes and one guy exclaiming, "You are cool as shit!" Now I know certain bloggers are going to ask about said crushes. No, I am not interested. But I must admit, I like the attention. It sure has made work more interesting! With school out and winter in, I'm going to start hanging out with them more. It does irritate me how I was perceived for going on four months, but I hope everyone involved learned not to be so judgmental. ...there was Levern's awards dinner. He and I are former co-workers and close friends. Levern won paralegal of the year and of course I had to be there to support him. Fortunately, the doorman thought I was cute and didn't charge me the hefty $50 ticket price. Highlight next to Levern receiving his award? Double chocolate fudge mousse cake. Yum! ...there was a failed attempt to share Trek's vocal skills. Don't bother clicking on the picture above because I couldn't get the video uploaded. You are really missing out because Trek can give a rendition of Outkast that you will never forget. He also sings Ani DiFranco quite well - surprise. But damn it, my uploading program crashed twice and that is all the patience I have. **Sigh** - It's times like these I miss dating a computer genius. For anyone who knows how to upload video successfully - an e-mail would be greatly appreciated. ...there has been harmony between me, my belly, my jeans, and the bathroom scale. I have somehow avoided the after Thanksgiving 10-15 lbs. of blubber this year. I haven't increased my daily exercise nor have I decreased my daily chocolate intake. Shhhhh - maybe my body doesn't know what time of year it is. ...there is enough snow for doggie boots. I looooove playing in the snow with Trek. Now, I know Trek doesn't look too thrilled in this picture. But trust me, it is for his own good. When all the other dogs have to leave the park b/c their paws are bright red from the cold, guess who is still playing? Besides, Trek is big enough to beat up any dog who makes fun of him. ...there has been confusion over time and boundaries. The ex wants to be my "best friend". I'm not sure that is possible with us both admiting we still having feelings for one another. However, I miss him terribly and would love if we could be friends. We set up obvious boundaries: no sex, no kissing. If only it were so simple. He wanted to buy the coveted camera for my birthday. I declined. I felt such an expensive gift would be crossing the boundary of this new friendship we are trying to build. We argued over it for some time. He finally gave up trying to convince me and told me to think about it. Oh the temptation!! He's already chastised my partying. What gives him the right? He has just walked back into my life and already he is falling back into attitudes that caused me so much grief in the past? Then there is his new position at work - he's traveling twice as much as when we were together. Already he has bailed on plans and doesn't know when he'll have time to reschedule. Now I'm decked out in all our history. All the feelings of past hurt are rushing back. I've tried hard to avoid it, but now it is too late. So now what? Feel the loss all over again? Or hang on and hope it gets better? Then there is a "friend" who never seems to make time for me. In fact, I cannot remember the last time we hung out on his initiative. What is worse, he's always telling me I mean a lot to him and he will do better, but he never does. Actions speak louder than words, no? Why keep telling me the same thing over and over and not change your behavior? Why become silent when I confront you about it? It is as I have known but have refused to face. It hurts. "Learn to suppress it pretty girl..." ...then there is school. Finals are over Friday morning. Woot-woot!! Granted this wasn't exactly the most challenging semester, I'm still glad that it is almost over. I plan on partying my little butt off this weekend. Are you with me? I think that about covers what I have been up to in recent weeks. Crisis averted. Smiley for the Day: