Friday, February 03, 2006

Match made in cyberspace?

Okay, I need a little help here. I finally joined myspace after my friend was driving me nuts over it. I've been on for almost a month now. To date, I have received 12 messages from local guys wanting to get to know me. I have yet to respond to anyone. The whole idea of online dating creeps me out. I mean, you have absolutely no control over who is reading your profile. How do I know they are not some psycho? On the otherhand, some of these guys seem really cool and are quite cute. I have two friends who have met guys from myspace and things are going well. So here is my dilemma: to respond or not respond. I could be missing out on something good and I could be missing out on something bad. Even if I decide to respond - how does one possibly handle all these inquiries? What do you think? Anyone with experience and/or advice to offer?
**UPDATE**
As a lark, I posted on CL this afternoon. By midnight, I received 31 responses. Some were funny, intriguing, repulsing, and others just blah. It's an eerie feeling to have people respond like it is a job interview or sales pitch for a girl they don't even know. What does internet dating say about our culture as a whole?
Smiley for the Day:

randmoness by Brea at 12:52:00 PM

Heads Turned for: "Match made in cyberspace?"

 

Blogger Jeni Angel said ... (1:14 PM) : 

No advice-I would just like to agree-online dating has always creeped me out-which I have to admit, worries me, since that seems to be the way everyone dates nowadays. . .

Oh well. I guess it's not so bad being a spinster. :-)

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (1:50 PM) : 

Mmmh...I actually got my doubts...maybe yo should try to date one and see how it goes. If you feel more optimistic afterwards: great! And if not: then you never shoukld give it anotehr chance.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (3:03 PM) : 

Just an idea but, maybe you should just make friends from there and go on from there.

As long as you make it clear you're just hanging out to begin with it's no problem right? You meet them, if you like them you go forward, if not you have fun hanging out with a new person for a day.

Just don't meet someone over a candlelit dinner and you should be fine.

 

Blogger Friar Tuck said ... (5:27 PM) : 

Go for it.

I guess women have more issues and concerns with safety in general.

I would say meet in a public space for a set amount of time...and then continue with phone calls if you would like.

The internet thing seems kinda embarrassing, but more people than you know are doing it!

 

Blogger Friar Tuck said ... (5:28 PM) : 

Or just invite this person along in a group you are in, and let other people get a read on him as well.

 

Blogger princessdominique said ... (11:30 AM) : 

I met my husband online, but then again we were initially "networking" he had a tangible literary magazine, he joined the writers group I co-founded and we corresponded online for a month or two prior to our first meeting. Take your time. Myspace is a hook up hang out, I joined but I had to make it clear that I'm married and happy. Anything is possible though.

 

Blogger The Humanity Critic said ... (12:08 PM) : 

Maybe because I'm a paranoid dude, but online dating is weird for me as well. I mean, the man in me wants to slay any chick that leaves me a comment. But the nutcase in me never responds, basically because I would hate to see a crazy broad hiding in the bushes with a ninja outfit on, holding my dead dog..lol

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (1:37 PM) : 

MySpace is indeed a haven for those types of messages. For me, personally, I am not into the whole online dating she-bang, but they are quite harmless if you just want to be friends.. I think. Personally, my advice would be is to go by your gut. Check out their profiles, look at their photos, and what not before deciding whether or not to respond. It's a bit tedious but it's quite worth it. Those that you feel seem to be all right, message them back. If not, then delete it. Chances are that those guys are probably sending those types of messages to other girls in your area. Maybe not all, but there are some that do that. =)

I tend to delete almost all of the messages that I recieve because the ones who message me don't seem to understand the meaning of "In A Relationship". Bleh. =/

 

Blogger Friar Tuck said ... (3:09 PM) : 

Really, how much different is this than real life?

Dont you meet all the same kinds of people if you hit the clubs.

Maybe you can make the whole thing a writing project.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (12:05 AM) : 

just follow your heart, girl :) if you're not sure, then don't go for it. but if you wanna find out, then try it :D ;)

 

Blogger Edz said ... (10:16 AM) : 

I'm a big fan of online dating. I've met my ex boy friend online and it was a great experience. I wasn't disappointed at all. I just see Internet as a communication device like the others. It is a risk, but we take many risks every day.
I'll just tell you to set up your limits since the beginning. There are crazy dudes out there, so be careful. Meet someone only after a long time - chatting, phoning, etc... And always in public places, a library, a bookstore, nothing too intimate or personal.
Don't send your pictures too easily. I don't really like the thought of thinking that someone might be doing weird stuffs with my pics. Also, if you don't like someone, follow your instincts and block that person from contacting you.
Again, if you don't feel comfortable doing it, don't. As for myself, I can tell you that I'm pretty satisfied with online dating. Most of the time, I'm just chatting with the guys and so far I've met only a couple. Two have become very good friends. So take your time. And enjoy...

 

Blogger Meadow said ... (11:12 AM) : 

It's just another avenue to meet people. There used to be a stigma about it - before the Internet become the cornerstone of modern life - but now I think the only stigma is the one individuals bring to it. On the whole, it's credible now. And you don't have to be online to meet a jerk. They're everywhere. Nice guys, too, I suppose. :)

 

Blogger Issiata said ... (12:51 PM) : 

Was crusing blogspace, and thought I'd give you a shout. Nice blog!

I have done a little online dating in the past, but not so much for quite a long time. I'd met one guy in person after emailing and talking on the phone for a little while, and although he was nice, he was too comfortable w/me (i.e., putting his arm around me, trying to hug me at inappropriate times, etc.)

I'm protective of my personal space and didn't appreciate his advances in that way. So, given that experience, I agree w/much of what everyone else posted. Def set your boundaries and be certain of what you want out of it. The important thing is that you're comfortable with the interaction.

 

Blogger Unknown said ... (4:25 PM) : 

I don't like the idea of internet dating, you don't what kinda person is on theother end of the connection...I might just be meeting with a sick bastard. but then again, do you really know who the person really is, if you just met them face to face in a park instead of on the net?

I guess this one is out of my hands, it's all up to you to decide.

 

Blogger Fahd Mirza said ... (1:04 AM) : 

my friend, please be cautious.

 

Blogger Stephen A. Bess said ... (9:30 AM) : 

I agree that one should be cautious, but that goes for meeting someone in person as well. The thing about online dating is that it doesn't make an interesting story about "how we met."

scroll + click = Amour :)

 

Blogger feels good b n FREE said ... (4:35 PM) : 

internet dating is not a big deal.
i have been blessed to meet some wonderful people through the medium of the net...
some wonderful people and some jerks, but that is life.
as so many others commented meeting new people is always risky...no matter the medium.i would probably never had the opportunity to meet some real nice folx, if it wasn't 4 the net.

try it.

 

Blogger msjaim said ... (8:41 PM) : 

Wsup sis.. I cant blame u for the hesitation.. but then u could also meet a damn wierdo/ psycho/ rapist /stalker on the street in the grocery store , through ur cousin or who ever. Just proceed with caution if u r genuinely intersted & go w/ ur gut instinct (along with using common sense;)... I have formed actual freindships w/ ppl I have met via the net from other sites and have hung out w/ folks when they have visited Chicago( and I have taken a mutual liking to a brother I was "introduced" to by a friend via the net).. that myspace is so damn addicting tho ( I have come across some old HS peeps which is cool)..& be careful to block the wierdos who have pictures of themselve in diapers who ask if u could walk on their backs and allow them to worship ur feet..( sad but true story right there)

 

Blogger Theresa said ... (7:16 AM) : 

I think on-line dating is WAAAAAY better than meeting people randomly in a store or a bar. Unless you have dozens of friends setting you up with friends of friends, it's the best way to meet people. You also don't want to meet someone at work. Work romances are BAD NEWS!!!

With online dating, you can interview people ahead of time. You can test people for creepiness fairly well. If they are the least bit inconsistent, dump them and move along. There are plenty of fish in the cyber-sea. You don't need to mess with a liar-fish. Once you get used to the awkwardness of the first meeting, everything is cool. I've met eight or more people online. A couple of them ended up becoming long-term relationships, and most of them became long term friendships even though we didn't end up dating.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (11:53 AM) : 

Just chatting back and forth won't hurt you. You don't have to ever meet them if you decide you don't like the way they talk through e-mails. I think you should respond to some of the people and just see where conversation takes you. I know you thought I was nutty when I told you I had a good vibe from Nick, but it seems right so far... just go with the flow, don't meet anyone until you've done a lot of chatting, and don't give out any info that's too personal. You're completely safe chatting on myspace. :)
Good luck, I hope you meet someone great!

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (12:17 PM) : 

I interview women all the time in real life same as on the internet. You aren't missing out on anything - it comparable to not going to the supermarket on a saturday - frequently. Or changing supermarkets.

 

Blogger brooklyn babe said ... (12:35 PM) : 

Always best to go with your gut.
I have met some cool folks on blogger in person... but I'm a modern old fashion girl, I still like to meet you with out the pretense... or guard of the "net."

But online is just a sign of the times, so its seems like you're flowing with it...
Again... let your gut lead.

 

Blogger Rose said ... (11:50 PM) : 

Brea just be careful...if you decide to meet someone do it in a group. Make sure someone always knows who you are with and have met that person. I am just gettting spooked over all this stuff in the papers and on myspace and that other college website..something with face....

 

Blogger Anhoni Patel said ... (7:55 PM) : 

Every date is like a job interview whether it originated on-line or not.

Dude, totally respond to the myspace men. CL guys could be a little creeptastic.

 

Blogger princessdominique said ... (8:00 AM) : 

I'm with the ones who said Internet is no big deal. Some people get weird about meeting someone in a bar. You know just as much about people you meet in both places initially.

 

Blogger MZPEACH said ... (3:27 PM) : 

Your smiley is so cute!..lol. Girl, I have know idea. Just be smart about. Trust your instincts.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (1:44 PM) : 

I don't have the foggiest! I've never done it before but i know people that have. Happy valentines! Crude.

 

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