Ramble, Ramble, Ramble

Man, that Q&A session was fun but a lot of work! Perhaps it was because I decided to be an over-achiever and post photos with all my answers. My answers included everything from my failed first love to my favorite color. Pop Quiz: What is my favorite color? Just want to make sure you read at least some of it b/c that ish took a lot of time. Well anyway, those who chose to read it have learned a lot about me, scary as that is... My brain is loosely connected and so it brings me to my next point: Isn't she sexy? I take my camera everywhere and it would be a hell of a lot easier if it were a wee bit smaller. That sexy piece of work is the solution to my problem. Since I'm living the life of a poor college student and my Dad doesn't read my blog, I am going to have to come up with creative ways to get it. Target: my birthday. That gives me nearly 2 months to get my point across. My first few ideas have been less than subtle: "Gee Dad, a $400 dollar gift certificate to Best Buy suuuure would be nice.", "I want a new camera and I think you should buy it for me.", "I am going to cry and whine until I get this camera - understood?". I'm going to have to work on this... Today, I went to the MVA to renew my registration. I expected a two hour ordeal like every other trip to the MVA. I brought a backpack full of study materials to keep me busy. I'm not even half way through my first set of note cards when my number is called. I prepare myself for being told I just waited in the wrong line for twenty minutes. I was all ready to make a scene as I was handed a new number. Can you believe I waited in the correct line and my registration was renewed in less than five minutes? Talk about disappointment. What do you mean that's it? But I was all ready to take out my frustrations. I brought in all these study materials. Is nothing sacred anymore?! Now I have nothing to bitch about - thanks a lot MVA. After the MVA was my chance to bitch: I went to my old job to pick up my last check. "Please don't quit, we can make things better for you." Whaaaat?! I've worked here since May and now that I quit in a furry of cuss words, you want to make things better for me?! Ok, let me think a minute . . . HELL NO! I quit! Ha ha ha ha! (same evil laugh as before) Actually, that wasn't a chance to bitch at all - that was a chance to gloat. The two are so easily confused... Okay, this next one has no connection at all, but it has been on my mind so I thought I'd share. Inspired by my recent backpacking trip, I decided I need to get back into shape. In response, I have been working out every day this week. Well okay, maybe not every day. Yesterday, I went to a buffet with my brother instead. But hell, shoveling all that food in my face was workout enough. Then I went to a friend's house and threw back a few beers. As far as I'm concerned, opening those cans counts as a workout too. Anyhoo, back to my point (yes I have one): my dog is pissing me off! After running, I'm wheezing and crawling and this little fucker is jumping up and down trying to play! Did you not just run the same distance I did? What the hell is wrong with you?! THEN, he has the nerve to sit right next to me when we get back home. Is it just me or is he mocking me? That's what I thought - he IS mocking me. Just remember who fills your food bowl buddy... Now, to my next loosely connected thought: I found a sparrow on my deck this morning. It just sat there, so I knew something was wrong. I picked it up but didn't find any obvious signs of injury. That is one lucky little bird because I hardly ever look before letting Trek out in the yard. I've had to bury my share of less fortunate birdies in the past. Well, this whole experience gave me another reason to hate Bel Air. I look in the yellow pages for a local wildlife refuge - there is none. So I call the humane society. They give me the number of a company that will charge me $100 to remove it. And exactly where are you removing it to? Let me get this straight, I give you $100 for you to remove and destroy a bird that my dog could take care of for free? Well they can kiss Trek's black and white ass - I'm often gullible but I'm not stupid! So I moved the bird to a bush out of Trek's reach. What if it were an endangered hawk that was injured? I'd have to pay 100 bucks for you to kill that too?! I bet if it were a cow or something they'd save it - I hate Bel Air. Okay, clearly I should not be blogging right now. Have a good weekend all! Smiley for the Day:

Q & A Session

Yes, I ramble. But you still love me right? Don Juan de Bubba asked: First of all, are you really sleeping under the stars or do you have a tent? We used tarps, but you already know that by now. Unfortunately, there was too much cloud cover to see any stars all weekend anyway. What can you tell us about the town you live in? I live in a small town that likes to front like it is big. I can tell you that I hate it and can't wait until graduation so I can move. I have been out of this town for six years and moving back wasn't something I took lightly. There is very little diversity: the people here tend to be the same color and one of two religions (catholic or protestant), there are very few ethnic places to eat or shop, a ton of land but not one decent park, more pickup trucks per capita than I care to admit, not one decent artsy shop...I could go on for days but I'll stop there. I rarely go out without seeing someone I know. You would think that is a good thing, but no, it isn't. The same fake people I went to H.S. with trying to get my phone number so we can "hang out". Blech. Please. I know people change but I'm not really interested in finding out. This town makes me cynical and bitter. I have no hope in meeting anyone or reconnecting with anyone worthwhile here. Finally, it takes 45 minutes or longer for me to get anywhere I like being. Did you have a guide on your hike then, and how far did you go? Yes, the trip was guided. Dolly Sods was designated a wilderness in 1975. That basically means that nature is taking over - with poorly marked trails across rough terrain. It is easy to get lost and maps of the area are notoriously poor. We aren't quite sure how far we hiked. My guess is we covered at least 20 miles by the end of the trip. I think 10-12 of that was covered on Saturday alone. Every time I hear about your outdoors experiences, I wonder what you would think about the Rockies and the Northwest. Have you ever been out here? The closest I've been is camping in Arizona, which was beautiful. I've passed over you many summers, visiting family in California. I definitely have plans to explore more after graduation - starting with a cross country drive. Thanks for your questions Don Juan de Bubba! Georgia Peach asked: What is your ethnic background? I'm a mutt. I don't know much about my paternal side. My grandmother was overweight and had a very light complexion. I know nothing about my grandfather. All I know about my father is that he has a light complexion (slightly darker than my grandmother) and was very muscular well into his forties when I severed all contact with him. On my maternal side, things are all mixed up! My grandmother is half black, half Chinese. My grandfather is half black, half Native American. So, to put it simply, I'm a mutt. ;) Why did you and your ex break-up? Wow. Many, many reasons. I think it came down to a constant devaluing of my feelings, consistently being made a last priority, and the lack of tenderness and seriousness I needed. We had crazy fun together, but anything deeper than that was often a problem. Not to say I was perfect - FAR from it. But after I accepted his proposal, our relationship changed. He was no longer the sweet thoughtful person I fell in love with, he stopped telling me I was beautiful, he stopped making time for me, and he made no effort to plan for our future. I was constantly being hurt, so I had to get out. I think there is more depth to me (and the type of relationship I wanted) than he could handle. I don't know if it was a matter of maturity or personality - either way, it was what it was. What is your favorite color? Green. Thanks for your questions Georgia Peach! Hasan Mubarak asked: If you went into the woods and a Bear asks you for a moonlit, fish BBQ date by the stream, would you go with it? Hell no - I'm terrified of any wild animal that gets too close. It could, however, leave the fish for me to eat by myself. :) What proportion of the whole population of Maryland, USA is married? According to the CDC, in 2004 6.8 per 1,000 are married. Unfortunately, the last census was conducted in 2000 and the link to the population projections is down. My guess is somewhere around 36,000 people are married. Thanks for your questions Hasan Mubarak! Dee-Dee asked: What keeps you up at night? The damn foxes sounding like cackling witches outside my window and then the barking from Trek that follows. When that chaos isn't going on, I over analyze mistakes I've made - sick really. Where is your heart right now? Wish I knew - my heart has been all over the damn place! I wish it would settle down already... Do you ever want to get married and have children? Absolutely. I am looking forward to a lifelong commitment and having a family. As soon as I'm done with school and settled in a career, I'm ready to start nesting! I want two boys. Thanks for your questions Dee-Dee! Rose asked: Did your parents like your fiance'? Loved him. They honestly loved him as if he were their own son. In fact, my Dad has still not come to terms with the fact that we are not together anymore; he still has our pictures up on the mantle and in his office. He tells me all the time to give him another chance. Our parents still remain great friends, going to dinners and movies together quite often. What did your brother say when you told him that you were through with your ex, was he happy because he thought he wasn't good enough for you anyway? Nope. Like my Dad, he wants us back together. What would you say if he apologized and got on his knees and begged you to take him back? He did that already, six months after the initial break-up. We decided to hang out to test the waters, nothing serious. I just didn't see all the changing he claimed to have done and decided to end it again. We had four great years together - it was just the last year that wasn't good. I have no regrets - if anything - we need more time. Some days I think I could never be with him again and some days I want nothing more. When he gets back from his business trip he wants to "talk", I will always listen, so who knows? I'll keep you updated. Thanks for your questions Rose! Marz asked: What type of music do you enjoy? I'll listen to pretty much anything other than country, rap, or hard rock. I prefer music you don't find on mainstream radio; music that tells a story or speaks to the human condition. My favorite artist is Ani DiFranco. I'm also loving Ozomatli, a group I discovered this summer. What's your favourite movie of all time? The Emperor's New Groove. I can recite almost every line in that movie. Starting right now, and in sequence, what are the first three animals that come up in your head? zebra, dog, cow (all are black & white in my mind's eye - interesting...) Thanks for your questions Marz! Brotha Buck asked: What's the story behind that big hat you're wearing, although you do look cute in it. Ha - thanks! Well, it was a birthday dinner for my ex. The waiters sing a funny song and make the birthday boy wear the hat. I stole it from him. That photo is actually photoshopped b/c Yoni thought it would be funny to position his hand in a way that made it look like he was cupping my left breast. I didn't know what he had done until the pic was developed! I thought it was funny but didn't think it should be posted on my profile. What is your least favorite novel and why? Hmmm. I can't think of a novel I didn't enjoy, I guess I don't read enough... What happened with you and that bar guy? Oh boy. Well, I think it has developed into a physical relationship with little to no connection on any other level. I think I just want someone there which leaves me sick to my stomach and has done wonders for my self-esteem. Thanks for your questions Brotha Buck! Leesa asked: Did you bring a roll of TP with you? I actually brought a travel pack of Huggies for "freshening up" before bed and first thing in the morning. The TP was provided by another group member. If you see an article of clothing in the woods, do you think about the events that lead to the article of clothing being left in the woods? I see where you are going with this, but I am a HUGE believer in Leave No Trace Ethics - so it would probably just piss me off. Did you come back with all of your articles of clothing? Yup. Thanks for your questions Lessa! ManNMotion asked: If you could be doing anything, and I mean anything, with your life right now, what would it be? I would travel all over the U.S. and then hit many places around the world. What things would you have to do to make #1 happen? I'd need lots of time & money - both is short supply :0/ So, what do you think? I think I should just give up on this whole education and independence thing - and catch me a rich man. But seriously, I plan on doing those things, it is just going to take patience. Thanks for your questions ManNMotion! Shirazi asked: Who are you? (The answer needs what is not already in the blog) All the big pieces of me or on the blog, so here are some little ones: I am giving and committed to relationships to the point where it is often unhealthy. I can be somewhat of a perfectionist. I like to stay an outsider in new social situations until I have had adequate time to "people watch". Then I work to get to know those people who interest me. I am a social person who loves public speaking and leading/organizing groups. How did you build such a functional sidebar on blogger? Blogger help, all the way. How do you like your Coffee? Flavored with lots of cream - I prefer hazelnut. Thanks for your questions Shirazi! DIVA asked: Aren't you afraid the bugs will eat you out there in the woods? I only encountered one spider (which I handled all by myself - a very proud moment in my life) and a cute catepillar. The first night I came home I woke up with two mosquito bites. What gives? What's the thing that disappoints you the most about yourself? I think I internalize things too much and am too hard on myself. Most sensual thought? Something outdoors with water - although I haven't worked out the details yet... Thanks for your questions Diva! Crude Clay asked: Do u shave ure armpits? Everyday. Ever fancied another lass? Nope - there are few women in this world I can stand to begin with. Do u prefer to fart in private or public? Definitely in private. Thanks for your questions Crude Clay! Whew - that was a lot of work!!! (All photos posted by Picasa )

Show & Tell

An enthusiastic thank you to everyone who decided to participate in my 3 questions post. Man, you all didn't hold anything back, did you?! LOL!! I will do my best to answer them honestly and fully. Unfortunately, I have a paper to write - so it may be a day or two before I post the Q&A session. If you have yet to submit your questions, you still have time. In the meantime, I thought I'd share some of my favorite pictures from my trip this weekend. There are a lot so I hope you are exceedingly bored. (You can see the complete photo package on my flickr account) I took this pic on our way to Dolly Sods. You'll only find a police sobriety checkpoint at 5:30pm in Western Maryland. We couldn't stop laughing which pissed the officer off a bit, "We take this very seriously!" "HA HA HA (*clears throat*). Yes, we understand." After we pulled away the laughter started all over again. I guess they get the party started early in these parts! We hiked in after dark our first night. After dinner, we smoked stogies with our trip leader; the first time in 15 years he's had all the girls join in. He was quite taken and chuckled several times about it. I guess he didn't know who he was dealing with!! I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I thought I would be brave & go alone. As I'm heading into the woods, I see a set of eyes glowing at me. It just stared at me and continued moving slowly. I could tell by its movement it was not a deer. I flipped the fuck out & woke up the whole camp as I ran back. Everyone thought it was funny - me not so much. The guys starting making farm animal noises. Bastards. After being escorted to the bathroom & everyone settled back in, a bear joined our camp. We all sat still and silent. Fortunately, our bear bags were properly hung and the bear gave up and left. Never a dull moment. The group voted to use tarps instead of tents to reduce impact on the land and to save on weight. There I am, sporting my school t-shirt, all ready for a day of backpacking. One of many water crossings, which I suck royally at. The area is in desperate need of rain - most of the rocky area is normally covered in water. A climbing detour had us all feeling like kids again! From the top we found an awesome view of Monongahela National Forest. Nothing like a camp fire & s'mores. I was always one of the last three to head to bed. After a 6.5 hour difficult hike, Katie & I got up early in the morning to try to freeze the pain away. I'm kicking my ass to get into shape before the next trip. I don't EVER want to feel like that again. Fortunately, my suggestion of a massage competition worked well enough to soothe my shoulders the night before. The group at the trail head just feet away from the van. You shouldn't have any trouble figuring out which one is me ;) The trip was just what I needed. I feel a great sense of accomplishment and feel like everything is back in perspective. I hope to be in great shape by the next trip; both mentally and physically. I know I have a ways to go but I have already come so far. Alright, back to my paper... Smiley for the Day:

Lions, Tigers, and Bears, Oh My!!!

Ok, no lions . . . . no tigers either. . . . . just bears. I'm referring to my backpacking trip this weekend. Fortunately, you'll only find black bears here on the east coast. They are easily frightened by acting crazy and making lots of noise - the one thing I'm really good at :) Ah yes, tomorrow night, I'll be sleeping under the stars. Clearly, judging by my last post, I need the renewal that only time surrounded by nature can provide. With all the organizing and cleaning I've been doing the last few days, the timing couldn't have been better . I'll come back a new woman - I can't wait!!! As I finish up things around the house and head out into the woods, I'll leave you with this fun activity I've seen around blogland: Ask me 3 questions. Any 3, no matter how personal, private or random. I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all. **No anonymous posters on this one** Be creative and have entertaining questions awaiting me when I get back! Have a great weekend everyone!!! Smiley for the Day:

Share?

I must say, dividing and conquering worked out quite well. All my clothes are clean (even hand wash items), I've gone through most of my mail (and good thing - my car registration is up this month!), my calendar is up-to-date, my computer desk is immaculate, and vacuuming & dusting are complete. I only have my work desk, bathroom, and packing to finish. Go me, get the job done, go me! Sorry, got a little excited there. I've been single for about seven months now. After "getting over" (I say that loosely) the initial heartache, I began to enjoy my life as a single woman. The single life is beginning to take it's toll. Tonight, I finished my last day of training for my new job. My boss told me I was one of the top two trainees he's had since his four months at this location. After weeks of hard work, that was really great to hear. Driving home, I wish I had someone to share it with. Sure, I could have called a friend. But I wanted to share it with someone special. After being in my last relationship for five years, I grew used to having someone to share all of life's triumphs and failures, big and small. Someone to call first thing after something great or terrible happened, or anything in between, knowing the person on the other end would share in that joy or pain. He was very good in supporting my school and job endeavors and I really miss that. I miss sharing in his life and he sharing in mine. Yesterday, I had my water proof disposable camera developed. Among other things, there were pictures of Yoni and I kayaking and playing with Trek at the doggy beach. Up until our break-up, these were experiences I never shared with anyone else. In fact, he still is the only one to have ever gone with Trek and I to the doggy beach. Trek and Yoni playing tug o' war I miss having those special experiences shared with only him. "See there's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me." -- Emma U. I still miss him terribly and love him as much as I did the first day I said those three magic words. I know I'm not ready for another relationship right now, but I am sure ready to share my life with someone special. Does that make any sense? Smiley for the Day:

Divide and Conquer!!

(I got my camera back and added in pics) At the moment, my life is a bit disorganized. Ok, A LOT disorganized. The post-it notes are outta control - I am slightly behind on my reading for school - my inbox has several e-mails from last month I have yet to respond to - I'm about to run out of underwear b/c I haven't done laundry in FOREVER - anything placed on my desk is on an "at-risk" basis. . . Ok, I'll stop there; I think I'm humiliated enough. So, I have dedicated this day to taking care of that. No work. No school. Just laundry, e-mail, piles of papers, calendar, reading for school, and some much needed cleaning. Sounds good, right? Sounds good to me, but there is a problem. When things get this bad, I get overwhelmed. I don't know where to start and end up immersing myself in some small project instead of taking care of the big picture. Example: last week's organization of my scrapbooking stuff. Okay, I have mail that hasn't been opened since July, friends that think I'm dead, and my clothes hamper is about to blow! What did I do? I organized my scrapbooking stuff. You see? Major problem. Fortunately, every problem has a solution. I blame everything on the second job. I quit and it felt so good!!! Granted, I only worked there a couple days a week (b/c my manager guilt tripped me into staying after I landed a better job), but it was sucking what seemed to be every free moment. I have been busier than what is healthy. I am going to have time to breathe now - so exciting!!! The down side is that extra cash was intended to finance my shopping sprees. I hit all three of my favorite stores last week: REI, Loehmann's, and Target. Those days are over. **sniff** But after last week - I don't think there is anything left in any store I don't already have. Anyway, I have great plans for my new found freedom: cook dinner, more outdoor activities, exercise Trek more often, get more active in the organizations I belong to, and finally stay on top of all the shit I have to organize today. I'll be a leaner meaner me! Good stuff. Well, as with any Monday post, I will recap my weekend. Thursday: Worked in the morning - got out of class early afternoon - shopped until I dropped. I did the most damage at Lohemann's - went skirt crazy and got a few cute tops too. An array of fun skirts :0D Friday: Got my hair did (thanks DIVA) - work (see a pattern here?) - went down with a friend to party at TU with my brother. Danielle & I on an Asti night :0) Saturday: Quit!!!! I quit, I quit, I quit!!! Ha ha ha ha (evil laugh). Then I went on to have the absolute worse service of my entire life. Let me explain. I went out with friends to grab dinner before hitting the bar. The waitress takes forever to greet us. When she finally comes to the table and asks us what we would like to order, our response was, "Can we see a menu?" Duh! We finally place our order and after what seems like eternity, it arrives at the table. "Can we have some utensils and napkins please? We also ordered a side of seasoned fries - is it on its way?" She is not at all apologetic but is plenty bitchy. Sorry for asking you to do YOUR JOB! We are irritated, but still nice at this point. She brings the utensils and napkins. The fries come out a bit later. I'm starving and get to dressing my burger while munching on fries. It looks picture perfect and I cut the "medium-well burger" I ordered in half. Does this look medium-well to you?! The camera doesn't do it justice - that burger was mooing and bleeding all over my plate. Last I checked, medium-well meant slightly pink - NOT bloody red. What did the cook do, slap it on the grill and then the bun two seconds later? I was pissed - but it gets better. The server took nearly 20 minutes to come back. She tells me the burger cannot be re-made and doesn't even offer me the chance to order something else instead. Now I'm pissed and have completely lost my appetite. THEN this bitch leaves the plate of bloody burger in front of me for the rest of the meal. Better still - she tries to charge me for it!!! To add insult to injury, she gets an attitude when I asked her to have it taken off the bill. Talk about last straw, "Do you really expect me to pay for a burger that was undercooked that I did not even eat?!" She storms off mumbling something about how she will have to talk to her manager. A few minutes later, she comes back all cheery and shit, saying the burger has been taken off the bill and for us to have a good night. Too late for that shit - I already hate the air you breathe. THEN she takes forever to service the bill. We left a 70 cent tip. Bitch wouldn't have even gotten that if we'd of had exact change. I have waited tables off and on for four years. I have absolutely no patience for bad service. My blood is boiling as I type this. WTF?! How does she make any money? Grrrrrr. I decided to call it a night after only half an hour at the bar. I had a bad vibe and figured I'd leave before something else bad happened. Sunday: Spent quality time with Dad. So much quality, he agreed to watch Trek next weekend while I'm away backpacking. Sweet - that is $100 I don't have to pay for boarding. After father-daughter time, I headed downtown to pick up Stephanie and then we made our way out to Annapolis - kayaking!!!! A view from the cockpit We met up with Kjeresten and her friend Marina. It was a perfect day for paddling, the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Left to right: Stephanie, Kjersten, and Marina After paddling 45 minutes, I decided I wanted to cross the channel to scope an island for wildlife. After fighting the wakes and the current, not so much as an ant was spotted on that island. After paddling around for a while longer, we decided it was just about time to head back. One problem: every boat and yacht in Annapolis had the same idea! We paddled our little hearts out trying to get across the channel without being killed. My arms were burning and there were boats heading at us from every which direction. It was pretty funny afterward, not so much at the time. Like I said, disastrous fun - the story of my life. We made plans for a whitewater rafting trip and another paddling trip in Georgetown sometime in the near future. I have ALWAYS wanted to go whitewater rafting - the last adventure sport I have wanted to try. I am soooo excited!!! :) :) After paddling, Steph and I headed to downtown Annapolis and went through several of the artsy shops. We then parked ourselves at an outside cafe where we both had a yummy salad, topped with a grilled tuna steak, and wasabi dressing. Yum! I ended the day with a walk with Trek by the moonlight . A drama-free weekend for the history books. So, back to getting organized. I have prioritized what needs to be done and am going to force myself to follow the list - in order. Divide and Conquer!!!!! Smiley for the Day: